"Noah Levine (born 1971) is an American Buddhist teacher and the author of the books Dharma Punx: A Memoir and Against the Stream. As a counselor known for his philosophical alignment with Buddhism andpunk ideology, he identifies his Buddhist beliefs and practices with both the Theravada and Mahayanatraditions.[1] He holds a master's degree in counseling psychology from CIIS." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noah_Levine
He runs meditations & lectures both in Santa Monica & Hollywood. I've been to two so far & the experience has been eye-opening.
I've been so dissatisfied with the conditions around me & I've felt almost at the end of my rope. I've meditated & done lots of prayer before, but it wasn't until I meditated on having this relationship with myself that I understood the cause of my own suffering. I externalized my happiness.
"I'll be happy when (fill in the blank) happens."
Despite having heard & understood this concept before, I hadn't experienced it. I understood this concept on a logical and analytical level, but I didn't have the awareness of this teaching on an experiential level. It was almost an unconscious doing of "I'll be happy when (fill in the blank) happens" which only exacerbated my current condition. It was "the harder you try, the harder it is" principle evolved. Only by experiencing the longing for happiness outside of myself did realize that the only place I had to look was inside. By sitting still long enough, I stopped externalizing & reaching for happiness outside of myself.
Have you ever seen a dog chase its tail?
The same thing occurs. You know that by looking at the dog he'll never be satisfied & eventually get tired of doing it. Yet the dog is so fascinated with chasing its tail that nothing else matters. It becomes obsessed with catching its tail. We think that the dog is just a dumb dog.
Now apply this to yourself. Your situation with wanting a better job, more income, a better house, a hotter girlfriend, a younger boyfriend.... whatever it is... in principle is the same thing! You're nothing more than a stupid dog who believes that "I'll be happy when (I catch my fucking tail--Oh why, Oh why can't I catch my stupid tail!) happens." YES! you've devolved into an animal that is simply seeking instant gratification. You're seeking your next dramatic fix by unconsciously externalizing your own happiness!
Now that you have the awareness of this, begin a practice. In truth, your life is a practice & you'll continue to develop more awareness of yourself, but for now... promise yourself to exert more love & compassion in the world by exerting more love & compassion on yourself. You do this by accepting more responsibility over your desires & turning within. Instead of racing around in your busy schedule and getting your next fix of anxiety and drama, STOP. Sit still for about 5 minutes & concentrate on your breathing. Feel each inhale. Feel each exhale. Let your thoughts simply move through you instead of trying to stop them & not think. You achieve "not thinking" by becoming an observer. You create more peace & calm in your life by first sitting still..... then accepting yourself for the lovable, deranged, obsessive-compulsive human being you are! AND in an ironic twist, you'll no longer be deranged, crazy in the head, or insane.... you'll just be lovable!
