Awesome Communication technique: When someone is in distress, or is expressing frustration, sit in stillness, be very present. Don't say anything & sit with the person, looking at them with loving eyes. Allow them speak for as long as they want, while saying very little. When they're done, avoid saying what you think the person should do (unless they ask you directly). It's ok to say "Thank You" & "I'm here for you" & giving your opinion makes the person feel blamed, shamed, judged, or criticized (no matter what your intentions were)
There exists a tendency to analyze what the other person is saying & for the listener to offer their view of how to "fix" a situation. & what can be detrimental to Loving communication is "you should," or "you need to." This is the ego derailing the intention of Love. Your intentions may come from a loving place, and it's fear that steps in & gets us off track. While love says, "sit with this person & hold space for them to express themselves," the ego manipulates this & says, "this person is asking for your help & it's up to you to fix it!"
If you get into a conversation where someone is speaking about something that's frustrating them, notice these... if you're offering advice, then the person gets defensive, then the two of you become more frustrated... the ego has effectively derailed the Loving intentions.
At certain moments in our lives, we just want a voice. Offering your opinion without the other person asking for it shuts this voice up. The obstacles to positive communication become more prominent.
In my practice, clients have come to me for varying issues. Holding space for a person to speak opens them up in a way they've not been able to. In a way, it's sad that many people feel like they have to pay for this sort of attention. It's an indication that many of us (especially me in the past) allow the fear of helplessness to distract us from giving each other what we need.
....Love & Blessings, E.J.
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